Their Choice
by Winged Lady Colette
Summary: An explosion in the Fade destroys the Veil and throws Ellana Lavellan back to the time of the Elven Empire. Time Travel.
1. Remember

**Author's Note: I know, I shouldn't. I've been kicking this idea around for a long time and felt that Dragon Age deserved some of my time travel love too! Let me know what you think! And keep in mind, I am taking a lot of liberties for this story! And forgive the tense changes, I go from past to present. But only for this chapter, probably. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Warning: Language, graphic imagery, Un-beata'd, OOCness,**

**Word Count: 5,810**

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

She knew that when this all first began that everything was going to be absolutely crazy regardless of how they were going to look at it. She was both right and so very wrong. She was right in the sense that the adventure was a crazy one, but it was far worse than her limited imagination could picture in the beginning. Ancient evil Magisters, Qunari attacks, Dark Spawn rearing their ugly head, Chantry set aflame with the death of the Divine, the birth of the Inquisition, the catastrophic destruction of the Templars that fell under Corypheus's control, and the near collapse of their entire world and way of living forever.

But in between those horrible moments, there were good ones. Ellana made some really good friends. Sure, there was some lies and some crazy moments that perhaps she shouldn't have been so quick to forgive. But in the end, they were all together in this and it should have been great. They won. They defeated Corypheus and his army and his dragon. They won! That moment is usually when the Keeper would offer a life lesson to top off the story but allow the heroes to have their happily ever after.

The world is saved, it's getting back on its feet, everyone is alive and all is well. That was where it was supposed to end. That's where Ellana would have ended her story if she could have.

And in the midst of the good and horrible moments, there are diamonds. And almost all of those diamond moments had to do with apostate that came to them in their hour of need, offering wisdom and guidance for people who so desperately needed it: Solas. Never mind the fact that he had little to no choice in the matter and simply had to help them or suffer the ultimate consequences. It had to do with the times they shared and the love that grew between them. Or, so she thought that was.

The conversations they could have for hours on end. The long walk around the perimeter of Skyhold's walls, lap after lap, talking about one thing or another without sleep. Her rushing through the halls to his room, busting in to see him sitting at his table, or admiring the mural that he had painted on the wall, to practically shoving the newest book she had found and read about the theory of one thing or the history of another into his face while telling him all about it. Her voice would rise in pitch so high he would have to reach out and grab her arms as if to stop her from floating away while laughing softly as she barely stopped for a single breath.

The times when life got so stressful that she wouldn't be able to sleep, so she would just stand out on her balcony and stare out over the mountains, watching with a glazed oversight, while fretting about the future, he would come to see her because he always knew when something was wrong. He would wrap her up in his arms, or with her blanket that he picked up off her bed wrapped around her shoulders before engulfing her in his warmth. He would press himself close and she would immediately feel the chill in her body as the normally chilled temperatures of Skyhold drop to freezing at night but she was so lost in her thoughts she hadn't even noticed.

He would hold her for a long time until her body stopped shaking, or the warmth brought forth a strong enough fatigue that she could no longer ignore it. Then he would take her back into her room, tuck her into bed and leave shortly before she lost herself to sleep. He always squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead before pulling away and leaving to go back to his room.

She loved it when he found her in her dreams, and they spent the night exploring the Fade. She loved it because Solas shined while they were there. His love for the Fade was always apparent, especially when speaking about it, but being there, wandering around with him there, it was like he was a child brought to his favorite place. He always seemed reluctant to go.

But her absolute favorite moments of all aren't just when they kiss. When he holds her so tightly she can feel his desire for her. When he looks at her with that gaze that sets her entire body aflame, and she has to look away for fear of melting alive.

It's the moments on missions. It's walking through the marshes and nearly falling into the swamp and he grabs onto her elbow and pulls her close. It's walking miles through the Hinterlands, going up a particularly steep hill and she reaches behind herself without thinking and he takes her hand and she pulls him the rest of the way up the hill because despite how young he is, he acts like an old man, and sometimes his staff becomes more like a walking stick and he needs a bit more help. She would mouth "old man" to him, and he would roll his eyes and laugh, shaking his head, but he never let go of her hand.

It's the stumble or the trip when their hands find each other for balance because they are always so close, that they are always in arms reach. It's in a battle against mages or Templars or beasts or bandits when she would take a cautionary step back and feel him there, directly behind her. His back to hers as he helps protect her as she protects him. They step close, enough to touch for the briefest of moments to assure themselves that they were safe and could keep fighting, and then away again to give enough room to swing their staffs around without knocking them into each other.

They were simple, trivial, but they were a tangible connection. Proof that someone else out there was on the same wavelength as she was. He made her feel like she was complete. She loved him and those moments, above almost all others, made her feel that the most.

She laid in bed every night the day he vanished after they had defeated Corypheus, wondering about him. Worrying about whether or not he was going to be okay. Wondering if somehow something had happened to him while she wasn't paying attention and if he was somewhere dark and scary and needed her there but she couldn't find him. She wasn't a powerful, avid dreamer, or well trained like Solas in that matter as he always controlled the dreams they shared, and as she had done almost every night of her life before, before Corypheus and his crap, at night she would sleep and forget her dreams in the Fade. She couldn't look for Solas there, but sometimes she dreamed of him and wondered now if maybe he was watching her despite it all.

He made a valid point when the Inquisition was just being formed that he was an Apostate and had to be careful. Even though by Chantry standards so was she, he expressed the importance of the mark on her hand and that he did not possess such a mark that would keep him safe. So once the need for the Inquisition was over, Ellana wondered if he simply ran to avoid being caught in the crossfire of the very real possibility of the Inquisition simply disbanding and everyone returning to where they were before everything started - not that she would leave everyone high and dry like that. But she wouldn't have blamed him for not wanting to be chased around Ferelden and Orlais by Templars and simply beat them to the punch by vanishing when he could safely do so.

She just... wanted to make sure that he was okay. She just wished he would have said something before he left. Simply vanishing without a word sent her to dangerous and dark places. She was worried crazy when he just vanished. If he didn't want to be with her or worried for his safety and wanted to go his own way, her feelings would have been hurt but at least she would understand. But he vanished without a word and she could do nothing but fear for the worst. It didn't feel right to be treated like that.

And she never stopped looking for him. Unfortunately, the only place she knew where he would never be able to resist going, despite any reservations he may have was the Fade. And not being an avid dreamer, she was only able to remember bits and pieces of her dreams and she was never able to consciously impact her dreams to look for him.

And then the truth came out. And suddenly Ellana was knelt before him, clutching at her hand as the anchor burned like lava through her veins as it spread further and further up her arm. They were arguing. She was trying to convince him that their love would be able to guide them - _Var lath vir Suledin - _and yet the look of pain he gave her was of agony and disbelief.

"I wish it could, vhenan," he whispered mournfully. And Ellana couldn't believe him. If he truly wished that their love would be able to see them through, then he would have tried. But it seemed like, at that point, he had already made up his mind. He gave up any chance of finding another way out of this without having to kill her world.

And it was then that everything between them made sense. How he seemed to know at least a little bit on everything. How he seemed to just know things. How his theories always seemed to be pegged with a degree of truth or with so much rational that it felt like it was just... truth. A lot of it was educated speculations based on his long life and a lot of the time he spent in the Fade.

And Ellana just believed everything he said. She was enraptured by him. She had always been a bit of an outcast by her clan's standards. She liked exploring and spending time with different types of people. Her clan was one of the few Dalish clans that would interact with humans. They weren't particularly open with humans, but they did interact with them. Ellana was fascinated by people. She wanted to explore more of the world and more of the people that filled it. She was odd wanting to see more of people and her clan was not subtle about how that made them feel.

The Dalish - and her clan while friendly with humans was no exception - liked their privacy. They wanted to keep to their solitude.

And Solas... he was like her. He was different from other elves. He was so open with his curiosity. While she was intrigued by the people around her, Solas was more interested in the memories of the Fade. And he thought she had a marvelous spirit. Which was probably the greatest compliment that someone like Solas could offer her. And she believed him when he said that. She believed that maybe someone was finally seeing her for more than a strange First too powerful to throw off but would probably, unfortunately, be their Keeper one day.

She wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to them. She was just... weird. At least to her people. But she always sort of felt left out when dealing with her own clan. It was like she made them nervous, or put them on edge and she never understood why. She knew her fascination was strange to them and very much unwelcome, but over time she learned to put a cap on that desire in order to be better for her clan. Even though it hurt her to do so.

But she's sure everyone was okay with seeing her go. Especially when one of the younglings showed promise in magic. With Ellana gone, there was room for a new First in her clan. There isn't a need to send him to one of the nearby villages to be taken to the circle or figure out how to fend for himself until adulthood and he eventually dies of old age. Not many are that lucky. Ellana hopes for the best for them.

She could feel the tears running down her face as her arm spasms in pain and she wishes she could die. He just stared down at her as if somehow her pain was his own. He knelt down in front of her with the mournful, "The mark will eventually kill you. Drawing you here gave me the chance to save you... at least for now." That hurt more than the pain in her hand and arm ever could. She couldn't decide if she was mad enough to think that he had been lying to her all along and that she was reading into his words that he was still trying to play through the game of her heart by making her believe he cared.

Or, if she was willing to torture herself into believing that there was still a chance. That his love for her might be enough to stop him from what he feels he has to do.

And they come full circle to "_Var lath vir Suledin"_.

His "My love..." was so tender, so loving, so pained, that Ellana's heart broke. And then he kissed her so tenderly as the tears slid down her face and it tasted like goodbye. And her heart and body hurt. She just wanted to beat her fists into his chest and even slap him around a little until he sees it her way, but the pain in her hand hurt so bad she could hardly see through the pain and her tears. He pulls back, hesitates, then cups her face, wiping away at her tears before standing slowly and turning away. "I will never forget you."

And that was the real goodbye. He wasn't going to change his mind. He wasn't going to let her be with him. He was going to go through with his plans and he was going to destroy her world. And her. There is no way to know if she would survive the collapse of the Veil, and so he's offering his love to her one last time before he runs away from her forever.

Because that's what he was doing. He was running away. Instead of facing his new reality, accepting what he had done, he was going to run all the way back to his time. He was going to tear down the Veil, killing an unfathomable amount of people, then do some sort of epic battle with the Evanuris and hopefully overpower them, or trick them again - however he was going to go about his "plans" for them - and then... what? Was he going to stay behind and rule in their stead? Was he going to simply allow things to proceed as they are?

Did he plan to bring together all the Dalish clans? Reeducate them? Was he to become the de facto leader for a short time until the order was restored before he went away again to continue on doing whatever it was he was doing before he became a freedom fighter for the elven people? Was that even a possibility for him anymore? To be able to run away from responsibility?

And what about everyone else? Bringing the Veil down will undoubtedly kill a lot of people. But will it simply be the demons and the weight of the Fade crushing them that kills people? Will it be those without a conscious connection to the Fade - better known as non-mages - that will simply die? Do their brains melt from too much foreign stimuli? A combination of both? And what about the Tranquil? They have had their minds completely severed from the Fade. What happens to them?

Ellana doesn't know, and she suspects that Solas doesn't either. He's just guessing at this point. For all he knows, everyone could just die, save for him. And maybe anyone he's able to protect when the time comes.

Not to mention, what is going to happen to the world? Things not tethered to the Fade may be standing in the place of things that are. Does one override the other? Does one destroy the other? Do they both destroy each other? Does Solas know any of those answers? No, she doubts he does. She's pretty sure it's going to all be conjecture on his part. Because how could he know? There is no way he could know.

He walked toward the Eluvian after his bitter tasting farewell kiss, as she sat in the dirt, crying and clutching at her hand, trying to make sense of all the information he's just dumped on her, before turning to look back over at her. His hands, which were folded behind his back, move to the front of his body. One pressed atop of the armor over his heart, face pinched in anguish and sorrow, while the other one lifts up over his head.

In her final waking moments, Solas's eyes burn that frosty white as his magic wraps around her upper arm, a shock to her body as his magic presses into her flesh before he moves his hand in a slashing movement, severing her arm from her body as her hand begins to disintegrate before her very eyes. The pain was blinding and so terrible, she physically vomited before Solas's magic seals the wound closed, sparing her body from disintegrating with her hand and arm. The scream that ripped from her was unnatural and worse than all the ones before.

The look on Solas's face gave her the impression that like a piece of her was now missing, so was a piece of him. But the pain was too much and she blacked out, her vision twisting sideways as the image of him standing there, eyes frosted over and shimmering, one hand frozen over his heart and the other in a slicing motion burned into her mind's eye as the darkness consumed her.

Cassandra was nice enough to fill her in when she awoke, days later. She said that Solas carried her out of the Eluvian, passing her over to Cullen before vanishing back into the labyrinth without a word or a backward glance.

"I... think he kissed you on the forehead when he passed you over to Commander Cullen..." Cassandra had said slowly but seemed unsure of what she had seen. "We were all in so much shock at the state that you were in, though, so I don't know for certain..."

Ellana didn't know what to feel in the days that followed. A lot of it was ghost pain from her missing arm, veins of energy still climbed up the remainder of her arm and onto her shoulder. Part of the anchor was still with her - part of Solas's power. And she had a part of Mythal's power in her too. She felt like a war was going on inside of her, for who would reign supreme. It wasn't until much later that Ellana came to learn that Solas had absorbed Mythal as well, thus making their connection far stronger.

But in those days that followed, there was a lot of pain. A lot of crying. And a lot of rage. Every curse in every language she could think of, she spits at the memory of Solas. Not always aloud, but in her heart. She wanted to be mad, and feel that rage because otherwise she would be forced to feel the cold emptiness. She would be forced to feel the loneliness.

The letters from Dorian were heavenly and kept her mind busy for a short time, especially because everything seemed to be over-dramatized for her benefit. And Iron Bull stuck close, cutting all ties to Ben-Hassrath, and sticking with her, as well as his Chargers. Now he never left her for a moment. After what happened, he somehow felt personally responsible for none of them having seen Solas's betrayal coming and the loss of her arm, so he refused to leave her side. He joked a lot, saying that now that she was missing an arm, she was going to need a witness to validate the ass-whooping her enemies got.

She appreciated the sentiment and all the laughs that followed, but she knew he was in no way responsible, but he wouldn't leave her side despite what she said in regards to it.

Dorian came back for a time to help her adjust to the loss of her arm, and what it would mean for her magic. She was now completely vulnerable on that side, but Dorian and Vivian put their brilliant minds together for her benefit and came up with different techniques that she could use to protect herself. Naturally, her area-of-effect attacks became more powerful, and she found a bit of a niche in defensive magic.

"An impenetrable defense is a perfect offense, my dear," Vivian had murmured, pleased as Dorian's fireballs were deflected effortlessly.

"It's too bad you can't make your defense into an actual offense," Iron Bull had said from the sidelines with Dalish - the Backup Archer - who "just wants to watch her fellow Dalish elf practice the mysterious and powerful magic" as Iron Bull had said. Nevermind that they all knew the truth, that she was a mage as well and probably was whispering tips or thoughts to Iron Bull in regards to Ellana's training. Ellana had to roll her eyes at it all, wondering how long they were going to keep the charade up but was too amused by it to simply call them out.

Dorian, Vivian, and Ellana all shared looks as they all thought about the same thing at the same time. And that's when Ellana began her road to perfect her defensive magic and expand it to what they began calling deflection magic. Some minute forms had been performed before, but Ellana sank as much time as she physically could in perfecting the art for herself.

And because of Solas and Mythal's magic still in her, Ellana also held a degree of shapeshifting magic beyond the basics, and she began to develop a bit into the field of Fade magic. Moreso, somewhat being able to interact more with the Fade than before.

Word of Solas's movements, as well as the strange goings on in the Fade split her attention a bit. She knew they had to be connected, but she was not strong enough to enter the Fade, as a dreamer would, and she wasn't sure she wanted to interact with any demons to see what they knew. All she could tell was from her own magic, that something was growing in power within the Fade. And it wasn't a steady growth. It was like power building at a centralized point that she wouldn't be able to point out on a map, but could feel it in her blood, and her dreams.

And Cole... well, he was as cryptic as always, but this time, he also seemed scared. Worried about what was to come. Which didn't bode well.

But it wasn't until they managed to backtrack Solas's agents to Tevinter and follow him into the Fade, that Ellana learned just how crazy her power over the Fade had become. By entering into the Fade, her arm reappeared. Not in its entirety, as blood, bone, and skin. But as a ghostly green visage of what it once was, held together by Fade magic. Specifically, Solas's Fade magic. And Solas was just as surprised as she was when it reappeared. In the Fade, she could feel her arm, as she had in life. The ghost pain that never subsided felt like it was telling her all along that while her arm was no longer part of the physical world, as it was disintegrated by Solas's magic, it still somehow existed within the Fade.

And it was like that arm was more powerful in the Fade that her body was. And magic channeled through that Fade arm was supercharged and almost always threw her off. She simply couldn't judge how powerful it had become. No doubt Solas could feel his own power resonating through her as they are now linked together. But he didn't seem to know what to make of it any more than she did.

But this was it, their final showdown. Ellana begged and pleaded with Solas as her companions fought against Solas's agents, to stop all of this. That tearing down the Veil didn't have to be the way this all went down. And he fought her every step of the way, denying her while looking at her and wishing things could be different. And like the waves of energy flowing off of both of them, she felt love and hatred for him. She couldn't understand why he would be okay with destroying her world. If he really loved her as much as he kept giving her the impression he had, why couldn't he just listen to her?

Maybe his love for her was never going to be enough. And that hurt more than the anchor ever could.

For the first time since she lost her arm, Ellana was able to go back to what she remembered, flinging fireballs and shooting lightning like there was no tomorrow. She felt powerful, unstoppable, unmatched. Except she was. Every attack she threw at Solas was met with equal power. He had grown so powerful that he was able to measure out his spells to negate her own. And it was infuriating because regardless of his threats or stone-like expression, he never struck her. He never attacked her. He simply blocked her every attack or avoided it altogether.

After another failed volley of fireballs, Ellana sags, her body shaking with exhaustion as her knees tremble beneath her. Solas huffs, looking ruffled but otherwise alright given their level of fighting. Ellana peaks through the long white hair not being held up but the multiple braids along the other side of her head. She uses her Fade green hand to push some of the hair away, mildly surprised that it worked as a normal hand would have. She would have thought that her hand would have passed through it.

"Stop fighting me, Inquisitor," Solas says slowly, straightening up his posture a bit. "I don't want to fight you anymore."

Ellana forces herself to straighten up despite the painful stitch in her side. "No, Solas. I won't stop fighting. I won't ever stop fighting." Despite herself, trying to feed on her anger toward him, her tone becomes pleading, "Stop this. Now, Solas, please. There has to another way! I know it."

That pained look crosses his face again, and he looks away. "_Ir abelas,_" Solas says softly.

"_Tel'abelas!_" Ellana fires back. Solas sighs.

He looks around as the Fade swirls around them, beating like a heart. Their battle sent shockwaves through this part of the Fade, alerting everything of their presence. In the corner of her vision, Ellana can see the demons watching far enough away not to be caught in the crossfire, but the two elves, as well as their companions, are being watched carefully. Ellana and Solas's battle has either driven a rift between themselves and their battling companions as there is a surprising amount of distance between them, or they simply have moved so far away from them in the heat of their magic slinging.

A storm, for some time, has been brewing within the Fade. Solas noted them as strange occurrences that were difficult to predict and sent tremors of fear through all those that inhabit the Fade. They were powerful vortexes of energy that mimic that of a tornado brewing that sometimes just appear in different parts of the Fade. Solas claimed them a new phenomenon during their travels together as he has never heard of them before - meaning, such a thing didn't happen in his time and must be a result of the Veil going up.

Both sides of the battle begin to flee back through the rift that Solas had created. Ellana could hear her friends yelling for her, but she couldn't look away from the man she loved before her.

Solas turns his head a bit, offering Ellana his perfect, sharp profile as fade lightning strikes in the dark backdrop of the Fade, revealing to her the shape of Solas's true spirit. That of a gigantic, six-eyed wolf. It stands over him now, scaring away the lesser demons and spirits as its passive Fade green eyes ignite red with power, face twisted into an angry snarl.

"Solas!" Ellana yells, feeling the ripples in the Fade mimicking wind picks up drastically. "Please, Solas! We have to get out of here! We'll die if we stay!"

Solas looks over at her, eyes flashing white as his magic begins to build up. "I know, Ellana. But this is a once-in-a-millennia moment. The doorway is here. To the Beyond the Evanuris sleep. With the power of the Fade anomaly, I will be able to do what I must. Strike down the Evanuris, and tear down the Fade. I will be able to bring back the age of elves."

And then it clicks. He was going to absorb the magic from the vortex. She couldn't let him do that.

"No!" Ellana shouts, building up as much of her magic as quickly as possible to throw at him. Knock him down or blow him away, she didn't care. She just needed to stall him long enough for it to be too late for him. She throws her hands out toward him, forcing all of her magic at him at once.

But either he saw this coming, or she took too long because her blast of energy is met with his of equal power. It takes all of Ellana's control not to be knocked back by the sheer force of it. He mimics her pose, holding her at bay, lips pressed together tightly. His eyes glow brighter white in the darkening of the Fade around them and Ellana _feels _the energy of the vortex being pulled into Solas and his power mounting. He uses it like stones stacking on top of her, desperate to break her hold quickly. He wasn't going to play around anymore and let him miss his chance.

Solas was throwing his power at her, while also absorbing the power of the anomaly and using that as well, while Ellana was using all her power coupled with her iron-clad will and pure rage and desperation while struggling to hold on. She wasn't more powerful than Solas. No one of this time was more powerful than Solas. The only one that could compete with Solas in raw magical energy was Solas.

Before her magic shattered beneath the force of Solas's, she changed her mind, drawing it back to herself, while still carrying the weight of his own mounted atop of it. This action confused Solas long enough for her to change the property of her magic over and with one final push with all the remaining energy in her body she turned her deflective magic on his own in the hopes that his magic verses his magic would cause it to cancel out.

But it didn't cancel out. It detonated like a bomb. It flashed rainbow colors as the magic bounced around inside itself, before exploding. The explosion was so powerful, her ears were ringing before it happened. She's not sure how far she flew or how long she was out, but when she opened her eyes again, she couldn't hear anything aside from the ringing, but she could see Solas. He was rushing over to her. He was bleeding and limping and the metal of his armor seemed to have melted onto his body around his hands and his neck. The fur coat he was wearing was burned off. His skin looked cut up and scarred from the explosion, like being struck with energy shrapnel.

He reaches her, kneels down and pulls her into his arms. She's crying, she realizes. She's in so much physical agony that she can't even register it anymore. And he's crying too and she has to imagine what she looks like. Her Fade hand seems to have been the only thing that held together. When she lifts her other arm to wrap around Solas, she sees that it ends just beneath her elbow. And her skin was pulling back as if being burned alive. Her magic pouring out of her through holes in her body.

He shakes his head as tears slide down his face, looking down at her. He touches her head and she can't feel him touch her hair. She feels it against her scalp but sees some long white strands floating around her head as if some hair stayed attached.

His lips are moving but she can't hear him. But it almost looks like he's saying, "I'm not ready, I'm not ready, please, vhenan, don't go," over and over again. Behind him, she watches in abject horror as the Fade begins to morph and mutate. It ripples and shakes. It twists and bubbles, shivering and expanding, further and further and further until the Veil shatters.

The first explosion must have mortally wounded her. But the second one no doubt killed her. And the last thing she ever saw, was the face of the man she loved, sobbing brokenly as he stared down at her, unable to even watch as his plans came to fruition. She felt his magic, weak and frail, wrap around her in an attempt to hold the pieces of her together, but it's too late, she feels. She's already dead. Her blurry vision blackens again and she dies.

That is until she woke up again.


	2. The Same

**Author's Note: So there is a little bit of interest in this story, which is really exciting because I am in love with this story. I am so happy for all the support so far, it's really helping me out! I am so sorry about the long wait! Let me know what you think! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**Warnings: Language, graphic descriptions of gore, OOCness and unbeta'd.**

**Word Count: 4,975**

Now she wishes that the explosion killed her.

When she first woke up, she felt the fever burning through her. The memories of her last moments before blacking out came rushing back to her. In her daze, she struggled to push herself up from the covers wrapped around her. She had no strength in her body and it feels like she's flopping around on her back, which only serves to hurt her more. A radiating pain throughout her entire body and mind. She called out for Solas, hoping that he would be somewhere nearby. Her throat is dry and every time she tries to reach out to grab hold of him she doesn't feel anything. He's not there, she can't feel him.

Despite all of it, she wanted Solas. Even though they were fighting, Ellana knew that there was still love. At least there was on her part. She still loved him. She wanted him. Despite it all, she wanted him there to guide her. To help her. He wouldn't kill her. He couldn't. Because he still loved her. She knew that he did. He could have killed her, but he didn't. He deflected all of her attacks instead of really fighting back like she knew that he could. He could have seriously hurt her or even killed her, but he didn't.

She's watched him mercilessly cut down all those in his way without blinking an eye. Sure, there was a degree of remorse, but he never hesitated beforehand. Not unless it was something that really mattered.

"Solas..!" Ellana rasps, barely able to see through the haze over her vision. She tries to feel around for him, praying that he was near despite that little voice in the back of her mind telling her that it was foolish to believe he would stick around, but her entire body is on fire and she can hardly focus on anything aside from the pain and Solas's face. "Solas!"

She can feel the heat of fever wash over her. She can't believe that she's somehow still holding together. In the final moments with Solas in the Fade, as everything was collapsing around them, she was certain that she was going to die. She can't believe that she was still alive now. But she can tell that it's just barely. And it doesn't surprise her. She remembers her other missing arm. She remembers feeling his hand on her head with only loose white strands still clinging to her scalp. She must have been horrible to look at. She wouldn't blame him if he thought she was dead and left her.

That level of damage... she can't believe that she's alive. It definitely wasn't her own power that saved her life, but it feels like her will is the only thing keeping her here now.

The blackness falls over her suddenly...

* * *

Ellana can hear people talking around her, and while the pain is less than before, she feels so weak. She can't open her eyes and it feels like her entire body is being held together by something else. Like she's wrapped up; body, limbs and even most of her face by something and it is the only thing that's keeping her together. She can feel the pain radiating through her body but she can't actually feel her body. She can feel itchiness across her torso, especially her neck, but not really much of anything else.

She tries to focus on the voices, tries to find something in it that she recognizes, but her brain is so hazy that it's hard to focus. She tries so hard to open her eyes, hoping that despite not really being able to hear what they are saying, and their voices don't sound familiar, that she would be able to see the face of someone she knows. Like one of her friends had come back to her and helped her and Solas to safety.

Because she still cares, even after all that she's been through.

She struggles to remember now, summoning up those final moments again as sleep threateningly tugs at the edges of her mind once more. She remembers him making his way over to her. She remembers him holding her in his arms as he cries and begs for her to stay with him. That he wasn't ready to let her go yet. She didn't want him to go either. She remembers feeling his magic try desperately to hold her together. But she also remembers her missing arm - aside from the Fade Arm. She remembers the long strands of hair that seemed barely attached. She can only imagine the horror her appearance must have inflicted.

Solas looked okay considering. He looked burned and sliced up and thinking back on it, he was limping really bad and his skin on the right side of his face did appear to be badly burned. But no doubt he was in far better shape than she was. Unless there was something that she didn't see or notice, Solas should have been okay. Given, she isn't a doctor, but she's been hurt enough times to at least be able to guess at these things. But invisible factors, she supposed.

So, was she dead? She was in too much pain to be dead, she feels. She's not sure what she looks like or where she is and the more she tries to listen in to the people around her, the more exhausted she becomes. She doesn't care if she's deformed now, she just wants Solas to be okay.

Because despite it all, she still loves him.

She wants him here with her.

Ellana remembers, clearly, as sleep pulls harder at the corners of her mind, the many missions that ended with bumps and bruises, twisted ankles and thrown shoulders. She remembers the tons of Elfroot and the bedrest. She remembers laying in bed listening to Solas read to her the newest book he found for her while they were in Val Royeaux.

He would be covered in bandages too, seeing as she rarely left without him, propped up against the headboard of her bed, hands cradling this new book while her head rests on his shoulder, listening to him read. Or he would tell her more stories about his adventures in the Fade. The interesting creatures that he came across or the moments in time captured by the memories of the Fade.

And for a stupid, desperate moment, she could trick herself into going back to one of those moments. Her mind supplied her with a memory of her own told from Solas's voice. She could pretend, if only for a moment, that everything was as it should be. They were together, in Skyhold, talking about things that didn't matter but so long as they were together, they didn't mind. Solas knew she was obsessed with reading and had taken to gifting her all sorts of books whenever he stumbled across them.

And she loved that he cared enough to look.

She missed him so much it hurt.

"Solas..." she rasps as the memory is like his arms wrapping around her once more .

* * *

The next time Ellana woke up, she felt so much better, she couldn't believe it. Her body was sore and it hurt to swallow because of how dry her throat was, but when she opened her eyes, she felt stronger than all the times before. She raised a hand up to her forehead, pausing for a moment, remembering that now both were gone, only to see her hand before her very eyes.

She stares up at her right hand, wondering if somehow she had imagined losing it before the explosion in the Fade. Surely she must have imagined it because she still has a hand! She looks at it closely, trying to see if there was anything about it that didn't seem right. The freckle by her thumb, her fingers were still long and slim with callouses on the finger pads and palm from her staff. Her nails are cut short, but they look similar. The only thing that seems out of place is her normally pale skin is very pink like the skin was irritated. Her skin didn't hurt, but it did itch a little.

Then she looks over at her other hand. And there it was. Her other hand in the exact same condition as she remembered it before it fizzled off of her body. She knows that she didn't imagine that pain. There's no way. That pain can't be imagined. It can't be replicated in the mind. That, she knows has to be real. Then as if to agree that something wasn't right, Ellana saw it.

Thin green lines like intricate swirls go from the palm on her left hand, up and around all her fingers, to her wrist and elbow and disappear beneath the sleeve of her thin brown shirt. Ellana forces her eyes to focus on it, realizing that with her vision blurred it was harder to see, but it probably stood out more than she had originally thought. She looks at her other hand, bringing it close to her face but she didn't see the swirls there. She looks at the palm of her left hand closely and sees the pattern of the anchor from her palm to her wrist and about halfway up the underside of her forearm like a huge, light green scar.

And faintly, at the edge of feeling, she senses Solas. Or, more specifically, his magic in it.

But she's so weak, so sapped of booth her own magic and both strength and energy, that she's not sure if she's imagining it, it's residual energy or if she's just imagining it.

"I've never seen patterns like that."

Ellana drops her hand to look at a woman at the other end of the room. Ellana can see shapes of a dresser - make that three - and what appears like a small kitchen, and more that she can't really make out. She blinks a few times, trying to focus her vision on the shape moving closer to her. It takes the woman sitting down on the ground next to her for her to realize that she's laying on a little bed made up on the floor.

The woman comes into focus, and she's an elf with long, dark hair and a clear face. Her eyes are a pretty emerald green color that makes Ellana jealous. Her eyes were crazy distracting and people have told her they were kind of freaky.

But Solas loved her eyes, he said. He's never seen eyes quite like them. The outer edge of her irises was purple with the inner edges were blue. Honestly, Solas figured it was a mutation from the touch of human in her family history. No matter how much clans stay away from humans, they do intermix with other clans that may not be as strict and over the thousands of years, there were no more pure-blooded elves. At least, not in her time. Until Solas.

Ellana could tell that Solas was a bit different. She knew that he had to of had almost no human blood in him to have features that sharp. Now she knows that he has no human in his ancestry. He's true Elvhen.

Ellana could tell the same the moment she laid eyes on this woman. Her features were sharp and keen, but kind. Her sharp eyes were soft with worry as she leans in close, looking into Ellana's eyes. Her own widen in surprise, taking in their strangeness while her mouth hangs open having forgotten whatever it was she was going to say.

"Who are you?" Ellana rasps, her throat burning. She forces herself to ignore it. She wanted to ask about her hand, but she doubted this stranger would know anything about it. Ellana wasn't aware that limbs could just grow back. Then again, with magic, anything is possible. But she's still skeptical on that.

It takes a few blinks before the woman snaps out of her surprise and turns her pretty emerald eyes to focus on Ellana's face rather than her eyes. But she does appear distracted by them as she says, "My name is Kareema. I found you in the forest. You were in really bad shape. You ran out of magic yet something was... I don't know how to describe it. Something in the Fade was piecing you back together. It was amazing."

Ellana shakes her head, not sure she understands. She knows that true magic exhaustion is dangerous, though. When a body of magic is denied any magic, it turns sends the body into shock, which usually ends in death. That's why people usually pass out before then, it's their body's way of trying to prevent instant death. Ellana has never seen someone die of magic deprivation, but she had heard stories about it from Keeper Deshanna.

"Did I really?" Ellana rasps, her throat hurting her more.

The woman, Kareema, nods, pushing loose strands of dark hair that slipped from the loose bun at the back of her head behind her long, pointed ear. She reaches over and grabs a glass of water, helping Ellana sit up and drink from it. Admittedly, Ellana drank down that entire glass in record time.

"Yes," Kareema says softly. "I thought for certain that you were dead. But powerful Fade magic was stitching you back together right before my very eyes. I knew I couldn't just leave you there." She places the cup down beside herself and helps Ellana lay back. "How did you get in that position anyway, sweetheart?" Her face was young and youthful but Ellana sensed many years under her belt. She was wise, like Solas. She gave Ellana the same feeling that Solas had. She was definitely older than she appeared.

"There was an explosion," Ellana admits, her throat still sore but definitely much better than before. "I was fighting another mage, and our magic blew up in our faces." She is thankful for this woman saving her life, but she's not sure about sharing her life story to this stranger. Not just yet.

Kareema shakes her head, her eyebrows pulling together tightly in worry. "Well, you need to be more careful, sweetheart. If I hadn't found you when I did, you might not be here. A lot of wolves out there, and this is prime time for hunting cause they just started having their litters."

"Thanks," Ellana mumbles, forcing herself to sit up despite how weak she felt. More sincerely, she says, "I mean it. Thank you. It wasn't my intention to end up like that. I appreciate you coming along and helping out a stranger."

Kareema waves her hand around dismissively. "Oh, don't worry about it. We are a small community, off the beaten path, but we look after each other. You've got to, nowadays, what with all the shadiness going on, especially in small communities like our own." She reaches down and smooths at the rough fabric of the blanket tangled up in Ellana's legs.

"What do you mean?" Ellana asks a strange feeling settling over her.

Kareema turns pretty green eyes back to Ellana, contemplating whether this would needlessly frighten her or if it was better to make her aware, just in case trouble is afoot. She decides on the later, saying, "Slavers. I mean, they've always been bad, especially in the outlying lands away from Halamshiral, but it's been steadily getting worse as the years go on."

Ellana's mind is spinning. Something terrible has happened. She's not where she should be. She can tell by looking at Kareema that she is one of the Elvhenan. She has to be an ancient elf, just like Solas is. So, there are a few possibilities for what Kareema is doing here. One of which is that the green-eyed woman is part of a very old clan that hasn't ever bred out in thousands of years or only with clans that didn't breed out with clans that had absolutely no contact with humans. Which is very unlikely. But slightly possible.

Another would be that Kareema is part of a group - like Abelas and his people - that have slumbered from the ancient times until they were rudely awakened, thus keeping their blood "pure" by elven standers. Which is somehow more plausible than the first one.

Or... _or _time magic is involved. Like when she and Dorian were thrown into the future by Alexius and his amulet. But for the life of her, Ellana has no idea how that type of magic could be involved. Solas didn't use it, without a doubt, and Ellana knows that she didn't use it. Neither of them knew really how to perform it. The only ones who did were Alexius and Dorian and while Dorian was there in that battle, she figured that he ran through the portal and out of the Fade like everyone else. But then again, she doesn't know for certain.

But why would Dorian blast them with time magic? It doesn't make any sense.

And on top of being in a place that she didn't know, in a lot of pain all over her body, but now she has to worry about slavers wondering about doing whatever nefarious things that slavers do when hunting for people. She can feel the anxiety building in her gut. She has to figure out what's going on. And how to get home.

"You... said you found me in the forest..?" Ellana asks softly. Kareema looks a bit thrown off at the change in subject, but nods.

"Yes, you were very badly hurt. I'm so thankful that you survived."

Ellana smiles thinly, appreciative that she was found by such a nice woman, as opposed to the frightening alternative. Anyone could have come across her while she was unconscious and done whatever they want with her while she was unable to protect herself. She is very lucky, indeed.

"Was there..." she hesitates, almost afraid of the answer. "Was there someone out there with me? A man?"

Kareema tilts her head, loose strands of dark hair falling around her face. "A man? No. You were alone out there."

Ellana wilts a bit, wondering how that could be possible. Solas should have been with her, right? Unless something went wrong? Well, other than the obvious. But now Ellana is terrified that something terrible has happened to him. She was in bad shape, but so was he. Perhaps she was worse than he was, but that's from what she could see. It's what she couldn't see that she was worried about. She can't help but wonder if he's okay.

If she's still in her time - which she is praying to all the elven gods that she is - then she needs to return to the Inquisition and start figuring out her next move, and if she isn't... then she has no idea how to push forward.

First, she needs to find out where she is, then she needs to find out when. Then she can figure out from there.

Ellana wants to go take a look around and start figuring out her next move, but she doesn't have the energy or the strength, and despite being able to sit up a bit with Kareema's help, Ellana doesn't think that she's strong enough to be able to be moving about. Even with Kareema there.

Although, in Kareema's explanation about the slavers, she did mention Halamshiral, which would mean that they were in the Dales somewhere. She had said something about outlying lands? So somewhere in the Dales, near enough to Halamshiral, but not in the city. Far enough away to be considered the outlying lands. At least in her mind, she can kind of picture where she is. Sort of.

As if able to read her mind, Kareema puts a hand on her shoulder, nudging her back down into the bed. "Sleep..." she pauses, realizing she never got Ellana's name. She blinks in surprise.

"Ellana," the white-haired woman says. "Ellana of clan Levellan."

"Clan Levellan?" Kareema asks curiously.

Now that is even more worrisome and points toward the option that she really didn't want. An Elf not knowing about Clans doesn't bode well for Ellana's hope for the situation that she's in. The weight of Kareema's innocent question is like bricks in Ellana's gut. She has to lower herself down on her back in the bed to help stem the feeling of wanting to throw up. She honestly can't believe that this is happening.

"I'll make you something light to eat," Kareema says softly. "You try and get some more rest. I'll wake you when it's ready."

"Kareema," Ellana says, turning her crazy multi-colored eyes toward the other woman, "thank you for being so kind to me. I appreciate it."

Kareema's face breaks out into a pretty smile that lights up the darkroom. "Oh, you don't need to thank me. I want to raise my son, as my mother raised me; to be kind to those who need us." With that, she gets up and heads to the other side of the room, moving about in the small kitchen.

Now that she's been awake longer, Ellana's eyes are clearing up despite growing more and more tired as time goes on. The room she's in seems like it's the entire house. It's very small, and cramped. But Ellana isn't unused to the living conditions of not having a lot of possessions. She knows what it means to live a frugal lifestyle while with her clan. And she also knows what it's like to want for nothing while in the Inquisition.

She wasn't used to being able to get anything and everything that she could want. Josephine saw to her every need without questions and made her feel both smothered and as if she could have anything and everything in the world that she could ever want. It was hard for her to get used to asking for things that weren't practical or necessary. She was still a scavenger by nature and whenever she found something she liked, even if it was in poor condition, she would stake claim to it and usually store it in her room.

It was Solas that helped expand her horizons. She liked different types of clothes and was more willing to buy them when the thought fancied her, but the thing that she could never resist, once Solas really opened the door for her, was books. She was crazy about them. That was the one thing that she had an overabundance of and still wanted more. She would read anything.

"Not that I don't love tongue lashings as much as the next dwarf, but what do we do now?" Varric asks, looking between Cassandra and Ellana. The white-haired elf casts a look over her shoulder at the gathered people all talking about the Templars betrayal of the Chantry.

"I just don't know," Cassandra says, shaking her head. She walks around the dwarf, running her hand over her forehead. "None of this makes any sense. Something must have happened to the Lord-Seeker."

"Well, I'll tell you what we do have," Ellana says mirthlessly, turning to look at Solas stepping up next to her, staring off at something else over his shoulder. "We have hurt feelings."

Solas shakes his head, rolling his eyes, before turning to look at whatever it was he was looking at before. Ellana steps closer to Solas and follows his eyes to the shop that he's looking at.

"A book shop?" Ellana reads the sign out front. She looks over at Solas. "Fancy reading some literature after our failed attempt to convince the Chantry to help us?" She quirks an eyebrow at him.

"Do you partake?" Solas gestures toward the ship, casting her a sideways glance.

"In reading?" He nods. "Sure," Ellana says, stretching her arms above her head. "But it's never been more than old scriptures from my people. We never really had the mind for sparing our limited resources on things like books. Never mind the fact that they take up a lot of space and get heavy over time. I wouldn't want to burden my clan more than I already did."

Solas looks sad. "You deserve to read, Ellana. It's one of the joys of the world. Knowledge and imagination are two of the essential keys to living. Everything in the Fade is limited to and expressed through both of those things. It's imperative to have enough of both to be able to experience both the living world and the Fade to their fullest potential."

Ellana rolls her eyes, unable to fight the smile crossing her face. "You can't resist bringing the Fade into any argument, can you?"

Solas offers her a flirty quirk of the corner of his lips. "No, I suppose not. But maybe this day doesn't have to be wasted. Let's take some time looking around before we just leave."

"And you want to start with the book shop?" Ellana asks, mirthfully, linking her arm through his.

"Sure," Solas says easily, curling his arm around hers and offering a charming smile that makes her heart flutter. "Besides, you never know where we might find a clue on how to move forward. And if you don't, maybe you'll find something to help pass the time."

"We are fighting an ancient magister who is trying to destroy the world, I think trying to find something to pass the time isn't going to be helpful in our search to find a way to stop him," Ellana points out, casting a look over her shoulder to see Varric and Cassandra arguing about what to do next. Ellana knows that she has to go over there and help Cassandra and Varric plan out their next move, but at the same time, she can't help but consider Solas's words.

"True," Solas admits, "but we have a long way to go to get back home. Might as well enjoy the ride while we can, shall we? What could it hurt?"

"You are a terrible influence," Ellana says, looking back over at the book shop, feeling it taunt her. "but I suppose there isn't a problem with just looking, right?"

Solas laughs, casting a look over at Varric and Cassandra and announcing, "We'll be in the bookshop if you two need us." Before turning and leading Ellana toward the shop without waiting for either of them to respond.

"Ellana..." Solas says softly.

"Ellana?"

The white-haired elf forces her eyes open, looking around the room blearily. She must have fallen asleep again without realizing it. She rubs at her eyes roughly, forcing herself to sit up despite the pain in her body. Kareema is knelt next to her, holding a full bowl of hot soup that smells amazing. Ellana forgets her pain and practically rips the bowl from the other woman's hands and starts going at it.

Kareema smiles. "I bet you're hungry, it's been a few days since I found you. This is my family secret recipe. My mother taught it to me, who's father taught her, who's mother taught him." She laughs, pushing loose strands of hair out of her face. "My husband and son love it."

"How old is your son?" Ellana asks, conversationally between mouthfuls of soup.

"Oh," Kareema says thoughtfully. "We celebrated his one hundred and third birthday not too long ago."

Ellana almost spit out her soup, feeling the burning in her nose. She forces herself to swallow the hot soup before coughing a few times painfully and wiping away at her nose. She looks at Kareema, pretty and youthful without only the slightest lines in the corner of her eyes from smiling. It takes Ellana a minute of her mind short-circuiting before she makes the connection with the stories of her Keeper Dashanna told her and the others about the ancient Elvhenan and their immortality. That they aged up until adulthood and then stayed looking young forever.

Ellana was amazed by the stories of old Elvhen immortality. It was said that the arrival of humans somehow took their immortality away, but Solas revealed the truth to her. That it was when he put up the Veil that took the elves immortality away from them. Which just goes to show. If Kareema's son just celebrated his one hundred and third birthday and they aren't using ancient, powerful magic like rumors are some of the more powerful Keepers can to extend their lives, then Ellana's fears have come to light.

Somehow, someway, she was sent back in time. And Solas, for some reason, wasn't with her. She is now completely alone, in a time unlike her own. She is in the exact same position as Solas was, but in reverse. He woke up ten thousand years into the future. She woke up ten thousand years into the past.


End file.
